“I feel like whenever I write, it’s going to be full of logical fallacies and incoherent rambling,” I say, scribbling away. I sit cross-legged on the grass next to her.

“that’s good,” she replied, as she laid on her tummy. her attention was mostly held by her phone, as she kicked her legs behind her absent-mindedly. “it’s you, and that’s what we want.”

the way we understand the world is an incredibly crude approximation of reality. to be human is to make an effort to better understand the world around us, not only through living, but through digesting others' views of the world and updating our internal models with things we learn. however, I think one must also share their view of the world to affect the way others see it. as difficult as it may be, clarifying thoughts into a form which can be shared and mutually understood is as important as listening to others.

I mean to write more, I really do. however, as someone who's hyperaware they're constantly learning, constantly growing and constantly in flux, it makes me viscerally uncomfortable to capture who I am in this very moment. I've always been a little hesitant to put my thoughts into words. I feel I'm nowhere near settled enough, and nowhere near experienced enough, to have opinions worth listening to. I stumble about through life like a toddler, fucking around and finding out. nothing I say is novel, or original or even that smart.

distilling what I think and how I feel into words means I need to confront who I am, and to have a solid grasp of self. to communicate is to collapse one's internal state into a form that can be shared with squiggles, shapes and sounds; once I open the box, the cat must be either dead or alive.

no matter where I go, or who I meet, I always get asked some variation of “how and why do you do so much stuff?”

the how is simple. I will myself to go on, from the next to the next to the next, fuelled by delusional, starry-eyed naïvety. youth and inexperience mean I still think my life will have some meaning, some impact or some legacy beyond my friends.

the why, however? the first answer I reach for, "I do things because they're fulfilling," feels like such a disingenuous, cop-out answer. after turning the question over in my mind for quite some time, I've come up with something more substantial.

I recently came across this post on the Internet which captures how I feel quite well, and gave me a word to describe what I do.

You need to be side quest maxxing. Get your pilots [sic] license. Get scuba certified. Go sky diving. Get your coastal cruising certificate. Become a sommelier. Get every niche / pointless certificate & license you can. — @the_P_God on x.com, July 19th 2025

sidequest-maxxing.

sitting down and thinking about it, I've realised...

I get to learn more about the world.

I'm worried if I lose my sense of curiosity about the world, it won't come back. I fear if I stick to the comfort of the familiar, my creativity and drive to make and explore will wither away. to prevent that, I pursue my hobbies as much as possible and endow myself with more skills to improve my understanding of the world and how it works.

this allows me to update my mental model of the world with information that's not only more accurate but also more varied. I get to run into other people with other perspectives as limited as my own, but with interesting ideas I can detach from the individual and run with.

I get to be useful to other people.

I enjoy being surrounded by cool people who do cool shit, and to be a cool person who does cool shit. in that vein, I pride myself on being reasonably well-connected and I think I'm at most two degrees away from an expert on any topic in tech.

however, beyond work, all my friends are multi-talented. I can call on any to help me out with their assortment of random skills. for example, I know engaging public speakers who have helped me raise £300 at a charity event I put on, a friend who's recorded and edited a comedy set I did a basement in Kentish Town, a couple of people who proofread these very blog posts, and many, many more.

as thanks, these people don't expect any form of monetary payment. however, it would be remiss of me not to be there when they need something. I'd like to give them a broad and unorthodox set of skills to pick from.

I get to partake in the virtuous cycle of cool

I often speak about the virtuous cycle of cool (patent pending). cool people take you to cool things, where you meet more cool people who do more cool things, and so on and so forth ad infinitum.

by meeting cool people who are doing cool things, I increase the likelihood of "random encounters". I'm excited by the fact I might get pulled into others' side quests and be a part of their lives, all because I have some useful skill.

what is the main quest?

however, all this talk about side-quests begs the question... what is the main quest?

I don't know, but I'm excited to find out.